The Coveted White Coat

Today was Melissa's white coat ceremony for the University of Utah Medical School.  For those of you who are not familiar with this, basically it is like a reverse-graduation.  Each incoming student is formally presented with a white doctor's coat and officially welcomed into the world of medicine. I guess they figure that the lives of the med students are going to be so crazy and difficult over the next few years they better give them a formal welcome into this wonderful world.

I was so proud of her today, I can't even begin to express it.  So, while these thoughts have been on my mind for some time now, I, Trevor Wright, decided I would go out on a limb and share them in this public setting to the hundreds of thousands of readers of our blog.  For those of you who know Melissa, you know how amazing she is, but because of her deep humility and private-nature, most people don't understand the depth of her incredibleness (yeah I just used that word, I should really get into the world of blogging).  So, here is an attempt to express just how amazing my wife is and how grateful I am to married to such a remarkable woman:

I still remember the first time that Melissa told me she wanted to go to medical school.

We were attending BYU and had been dating for a few weeks when we were laying on the couch in the front room of her apartment (don't worry kids it was during the honor code approved visiting hours :) ).  I don't remember exactly, but I am sure I was rambling about random trivial things, when Melissa turned the conversation to a more serious note.  She began to ask me about my life goals and ambitions and dreams.  Being caught off guard a little bit, I shared some very short answer and then pulled out the most basic conversation technique from dating skills 101 and I turned the question back on her, "Uh...what about you?"  It quickly became clear to me that she had thought more deeply about this question than I ever had.  

I was blown away as Melissa spoke of her love of learning and desires for higher education and hopes of truly helping people someday through a career.  She talked of finishing school at BYU and going on to get a higher degree, perhaps a PhD in neuroscience then having a successful career while still being an incredible mother. Then she paused, almost as if she were scared to tell me, and added something to the effect of "But really more than anything, I would love to go to medical school."  

Those words stopped me dead in my tracks. I wasn't sure what to think.  This cute little freshman that I had decided to date was not one of those get-to-BYU-and-get-married-while-majoring-in-home/family-studies-(or-if-ambitious-elementary-education)-and-become-a-baby-factory girl, like so many other girls I had met at BYU (side note: I am in no way discounting those types of girls at all, Melissa just isn't one of them). Melissa felt like there was more that she was supposed to do in her life and she was ready to do it.

To be honest it took me awhile to warm up to this idea as I wondered about our future family and how that would work, but the more I got to know Melissa and began to understand her priorities, I realized she was fully committed first to a family and second to a career.  She was just not content helping her own family, but wanted to use her gifts and passions to bless many more people than that.  Because of many experiences she had with caring physicians who helped her with a chronic childhood illness, Melissa wanted to give back. I didn't know it at the time, but that passion that she had would lead us on quite the journey to her dreams and would show me the most incredible, Christ-like qualities of Melissa that have inspired and strengthened me over the years.

Near the end of her undergraduate degree Melissa decided that medical school wasn't going to be practical with a family and that she would go the academic route instead and pursue a PhD in neuroscience at the University of Utah.  During the first year of her program, Melissa was doing extremely well and and kicking trash in all of her classes.  But as the first year went on, Melissa would come home and tell me how her classes were in the same building as the medical students and how she overheard their conversations and saw them talk excitedly about patients and clinical care and with all of this, she found herself less and less interested in the science of the brain and more and more in how that science affected people.  She longed to be with the med students.  She wanted so badly to see patients and apply her learning in a clinical situation. But, Melissa is not a quitter, nor is she a huge risk taker.  She had already started this PhD program and was committed to going forward. 

At about this time, Melissa took a break from school to have Thompson and she found that she didn't miss her PhD program at all, but still felt that strong pull toward medicine.  Over the course of many months, conversations, prayers, fasts, and temple attendance it became very clear to us that the pull that Melissa had been feeling toward medicine was coming from a higher source.  We knew we were supposed to pull out of the PhD program and change directions.

Now, if I were in her shoes and was applying, I would have found out what the admissions committee  wanted and completely tailored my application to their specific desires.  Melissa didn't do that.  She examined herself, considered where her weaknesses were that would prevent her from being a caring doctor, and decided to work on those.  Whereas my application would have been forced and created for other people, Melissa's was completely genuine and meant to help her become the best she could be.

Beginning with Melissa getting up the courage to inform the neuroscience program that she would not be coming back, this decision led us on a two year journey to where we are today.  Because she is such a humble person, Melissa would not tell people all she went through, but her example amazes me so I share just a part of it out of absolute awe of what she sacrificed and all she accomplished. Her journey included getting special permission from med schools to waive some pre-med courses that she had not taken, hundreds of hours of volunteer service working with underprivileged kids, Alzheimer's patients, and homeless drug addicts (ask her about that one sometimes and her newly acquired drug-related vocabulary), countless hours of studying for and then taking the MCAT, writing essays, filling out applications, mock interviews in our living room, real interviews (not in our living room), supporting me while I was finishing my master's thesis, months of waiting, and many many prayers, long days, late night conversations, and giving everything. (And I haven't even mentioned what she did as a mother and wife).

During the course of this past year we both had separate and powerful experiences in which we knew that Melissa would be accepted into med school this year.  So when we got word that she was put on the wait-list, we were overjoyed because we knew that meant we would eventually get in. That faith was tested in an incredible way as months passed and no word came from the University.  We each had our moments of doubt but the whole time, Melissa didn't stop having faith.  She even put aside some of her volunteer experiences to spend more time with Thompson and me, knowing full well that if she did not get in off the wait-list, that would hurt her next year's application. During this time we had some of the most powerful, strengthening conversations about faith, trusting in God's will, and sacrifice than we have ever had.  Sitting with Melissa, listening to her bear her soul of how badly she wanted to help other people and ease the burdens of their illnesses moved me in a way that still makes me weep when I think about it. It was during this time of testing that I really came to know Melissa.

Then the day came where Melissa got the long-awaited call from the Dean of Admissions that she had been accepted. It was indeed life-changing. I was happy because I thought that meant that we could have a nice, relaxing summer together as a family before school started.  By this time, I should have known my wife :).  She of course had plans to get us prepared for med school so we could be in the best possible situation come fall, which included things such as deep cleaning every inch of our house, repainting the basement and baseboards, doing an overhaul of our home decor, stocking our pantry, and making almost a 100 freezer meals so we could eat well while she is in school (I am not sure whether to be grateful that she did this or offended that she thought that little of my ability to cook.  She knows me too well). 

So, after all of that we are finally here.  Melissa is a official a medical student and I know from here it will only get more crazy.  Looking back at these last 2 years, I have learned so much about Melissa's commitment, work ethic, kindness, selflessness, dedication, love of people, desire to improve, sensitivity and unrelenting faith in God.  Thompson and I are so blessed to have such a beautiful, wonderful mother and wife.  We love you so much Melissa.  

Your future patients sure are lucky.

Left: Melissa starting school in elementary

Right: Melissa starting Med school

For those you who are sick of my posting pictures to Facebook and instagram about Melissa's medical school, I'm sorry but you'll have to either get over it or de-friend me because this proud husband isn't going to stop anytime soon.